7 Effective Strategies for Toilet Training the Most Stubborn of Toddlers

Monday, February 12, 2024

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7 Effective Strategies for Toilet Training the Most Stubborn of Toddlers

We've all been there – when your toddler shows all the signs of being ready to toilet train, yet refuses. You've tried every toilet training method you can think of, and still, nothing works.

Your child wants nothing to do with it.

So, how do you toilet train a child who doesn't want to be toilet trained? We're sharing 7 expert tips to help you with your toilet training dilemma..

What is Toilet Training Refusal?

Toilet training refusal occurs when a child refuses to use the toilet. They might hide in a corner to do their business, wet their pants, or hold in their bowel movements. All these actions are forms of toilet training refusal.

Why Do Toddlers Resist Toilet Training?

As a parent of kids who resisted toilet training, the number one question I always asked the paediatrician was, "Why won't my kids use the toilet?"

Their answer? "Control."

It's the one thing in their life they can control.

There are a few other factors, such as fear of the toilet (falling in, the loud flush, or seeing their pee and poo disappear), but the main reason is the aspect of control.

So, how do you get these stubborn toddlers to toilet train?

1. Stay Positive

Toilet training will probably be one of the most frustrating experiences you'll have as a parent. By keeping a positive outlook and encouraging your toddler to use the toilet, you'll make them want to do it because it makes you happy. In turn, positive praise brings positive action with kids.

2. Work Through Struggles

Using the toilet can be scary for kids. If your child expresses such fear, validate and encourage them. Talk with them about it at their level. Help them understand that using the toilet is a good thing. Let them express their fears and help them overcome them, whatever they may be.

3. Have the Right Tools

Ensure you have the right tools for your child. Let them pick out their favourite toilet training underwear, buy a small toilet, some fun books only for the toilet, and get an Oopsie Heroes daytime sensor which can alert you to when your child is starting to wet their pants. Having the right tools will greatly increase your chances of a positive toilet training experience for your kids.

4. Eliminate Nappies

I know it might make you cringe when I say eliminate nappies, but seriously, this is key. Toddlers know that nappies are for going to the bathroom. So, get rid of the nappies so they don’t see them as an option anymore.

The same goes for pull-ups… they're really just glorified nappies to stubborn toddlers, with cooler pictures.

Whatever you do, DON'T ever fall back to using a nappy for your convenience, like when you are heading out and about. Pack extra clothes and be prepared for the accidents. Children learn very quickly that wet (or dirty) pants don't feel good, and this has a big influence on them wanting to use the toilet instead.

5. Give Rewards

Kids of all ages love rewards and treats. When you're toilet training a really stubborn toddler, you might have to increase the rewards.

For kids who refuse to sit on the toilet, reward them for just sitting there with a small treat. If they urinate, give them a few more, and if they defecate, it's time for the toilet dance, lots of sweets, and a big celebration. You want your child to know how proud you are of them and what they accomplished.

If this doesn’t work, you can try a treasure chest.

With Jack, this was the only method that worked. I grabbed a bunch of $1 toys, and every time he used the toilet, he got a toy out of the basket… I’m happy to say he was 100% toilet trained for wee in 2 days with this method. It took a bit longer to get him to poo in the potty, with 'accidents' in his undies, a common thing. We simply stayed the course of positivity and reinforcement reminding him that poos go in the potty.

6. Laugh

Parents, sometimes we just have to laugh when toilet training stubborn kids. If we don’t, we'll cry. So, laugh at the mishaps and just know that you'll look back at this time and think.

I remember a time when my husband Josh and I were in the local supermarket on a routine shopping trip with our son Jack. Then Jack, decided it was the perfect time and place to declare his urgent need to wee on the top of his voice. Then with all the innocence of youth, he started to pull his pants down right there, between the cereals and biscuits. My face must've turned every shade of red possible, as Josh swiftly scooped him up, making a dash for the exit.

7. Give It Time

Nothing's worse than toilet training a child who refuses to be toilet trained. This will lead to bathroom trips every 15 minutes, lots of accidents, and you on the floor, wanting to pull your hair out.

Go ahead and try to toilet train your child. If it doesn’t go well and they refuse, then take a couple of days off from toilet training and then try again. Just remember, it takes time and patience.

Toilet training a stubborn toddler can be a challenging task, but as you use these expert tips, you'll be able to help your toddler overcome any toilet training challenges that are holding them back.

What tips would you add to the list? Share in the comments!

Hi, I Am Sonya

Co-Founder of Biomedical Devices

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